Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
