i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize