woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
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