hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
