the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
do herpes really smell.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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