Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
