so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
