Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He kissed a someone with a penis
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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