What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
we have pet lesbian snakes
i would punch a child for taco bell
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
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