Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
