I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize