Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
