***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
