Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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