I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
