Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
