woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
