your thong is hanging out like whoa
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
