Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
