Kiss
Puke
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Randomize
