Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
