you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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