I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You can't just leave with hair like that
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize