Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Houston, we have a squirter
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
