I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize