I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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