He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
