I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
