I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
