I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
