Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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