You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Randomize
