Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
