i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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