The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
