I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
