I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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