shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
you made out with another girl for some wings
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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