you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
