Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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