I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Randomize
