You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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