Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
