He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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