i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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