what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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