Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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