Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
