He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
