How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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