I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
