We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
