why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize