i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
