my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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