the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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