So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
