Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
