My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
