Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize