Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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