Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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